Copland III

Oh deary deary me. I have been naughty – I haven’t touched this place in over a week. Well, here I am now, and to apologise, here’s some brief commentary on the Scouts.

It seems they’re now bringing a whole new dimension to their motto, Be Prepared. They’ve announced they’ll now be dispensing sexual health advice. And, predictably, Wonder Widdy and Birdshit Green have, of course, criticised the move.

I never had a great deal of respect for the Scout organisation: they still technically prohibit atheists from joining. What Widdecombe and Stephen Green need to get is that people are going to have sex, like it or not. Oh, and what does Genesis say? Oh yes.

Go forth and multiply.

Get it?

Mike Huckabee, looking like a fat Ian Hislop. (Image: David Ball/Wikipedia)

This week’s twerp is Mike Huckabee, who was dangerously close to becoming the Republicans’ nomination for President of the USA. The man’s as insane as Sarah Palin. Some of the things on his ridiculous tea-tray of policies and standpoints include:

• opposition to gay marriage
• the belief that homosexuality is unnatural and sinful
• the belief that creationism should be taught as an alternative to evolution, describing evolution as a ‘dogma’
• the belief that his sky fairy promised Israel to Jewish people
• the fact that he stands by (but no longer believes, I hasten to add) his 1992 statement that HIV patients should be quarantined: he now rejects this point of view, but he made this statement when we knew that HIV couldn’t spread via casual contact
• the belief that homosexuality causes disease
• the fact that he credited his god for his presidential campaign (it failed)
• the fact that he wants to ‘take the nation back for Christ’
• opposition to gay adoption
• the fact that if elected he wouldn’t change the US armed forces’ ridiculous ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy
• the belief that carrying concealed weapons should be allowed
• the fact that he is against universal health care
• the fact that he supports displaying the Ten Commandments in schools
• the fact that he believes embryos with no nervous system are sentient beings
• the fact that by day, he’s a Southern Baptist minister

In short, he’s barmy. The scary thing is that we may have someone who is effectively Huckleberry, but in hockey mom casing, a heart attack away from the presidency in mere months.

Image link

Andrew Schlafly

This week’s paraded idiot is Andrew Schlafly, creator of Conservapedia, the racist, homopobic, bigoted, smug turd-pile which has less accuracy than a weegie board. (OK, slight exaggeration.)

This doesn’t change the fact that Schlafly and his band of far-right home-schooled mutants have spread non-science, resorted to bullying tactics to get data to quote mine and twist, and also tried to censor uncomfortable home truths. His weapon of choice is defamation (discounting the lawsuit, because that’s cheating).

There reaally aren’t words to describe how infuriating this man’s very existence is. The fecal pool he has created is sometime so comically incorrect that Conservapedia seems like a parody.

Oh dear, I have been awful in not blogging for so long. I’m afraid other commitments have kept me busy. Oh well. To catch up, let’s see who this week’s Prize Twat is. This week, it’s a little topical and partly down to convenience.

Richard Dawkins has been kind enough to make some of his hate mail public, and PZ Myers reposted some of it under the title Richard Dawkins gets mail, too. This particular letter was from a Mr (well, one assumes) Peter Colley of Bellevue, Washington, who wrote…

DAWKINS!

You are a filthy, mother-fucking, pigshit cunt of an arsehole British pig and bastard to cheat, deceive and hoodwink readers with your rotten free inquiry article (which shit I enclose so you can read your own drivel!) No one but an arrogant, putrid, verminous burke [Ed: berk!?] would resort to such a cheap, pigsty trick (unless, of course, he is Michael Shermer, who is as much of a stinking cunt and skunk as you are). Wallow well in your elitist pigsty, elitist British oaf and vermin!!! I spit on shit like you, especially if they are British elitist turds!!!

Most sincerely yours,

Peter Colley

PETER COLLEY

P.S. Fuck you, stinking son of a British whore!!!

Sometimes these letters are so awful, they’re funny. And, quite conveniently, if I continue with my plan to offer a physical prize to whoever wins the Twat of the Year award, he has kindly offered his address. Wonderful.

Donohue: "I like to kill babies". OK, I made that bit up. Yes.

This week’s Enemy of the People is William A Donohue, the leader of the ultra-right-wing Catholic League. He and his band of mutant IDiots will generally come down like a hail of death threats on anyone who so much as dares to criticise any Catholic, or any Catholic beliefs, in public. Such as the ridiculous Webster Cook case: Donohue and his cronies tried to get him put in prison for kidnapping for taking a fracking cracker from a church. People aligned with his points of view (viz. demented fuckwits, as PZ Myers put them) also sent this young man death threats over a goddamned cracker.

This, of course, sparked the whole Crackergate debarcle. PZ Myers wrote a blog post about it, decrying the fact that it was, in his own words, a ‘frackin’ cracker’. Of course, that enraged the Catholic League, who immediately started a write-in campaign to have him removed from his job. Some sent him death threats: four in a day, which he described as a new personal record. All because he was rude to a bit of fucking bread.

Donohue, and his cronies, are really like their own sub-species of angry, grumpy tomatoes. Perhaps they should be given their own taxa. Or, perhaps, we can just hope Donohue ruptures an artery in one of his ridiculously loud rants about life, the universe, and everything non-catholic.

Stephen Green at a rally. Note that his teeth have become gopher-like.

Every week, I hope to be able to post a profile of an annoying twat who, for some strange reason, has not yet been eliminated from the gene pool thanks to their stupidity. It’s only a matter of time, but it’d be best to celebrate their idiocy before they inevitably win a Darwin. (At least, we hope they win a Darwin, and don’t take too many innocent proles down with them.) At the end of the year, if there are enough, they may be eligible for some kind of award.

So, this week’s Supreme Idiot is Stephen Green, a fundamentalist Christian responsible for the right-wing political party Christian Voice. This was the same organisation responsible for the ridiculous waste of license-fee payers’ money in the Jerry Springer: The Opera debarcle on BBC2. IT WAS A FRACKING FILM. I doubt Birdshit Green even bothered to actually watch the film before deciding if it was blasphemous to his imaginary sky fairy. He also persuaded (read: bullied) a cancer charity into rejecting a £3,000 donation from the creators of Jerry Springer: The Opera. He threatened protests and picketing – targeted at a charity. This man is a true disgrace to the human race.

Why the ‘birdshit’? Well, on the same programme where he made racist and hypocritical slurs against other religions, footage was shown of a bird using him as a public convenience. Even the bird considered him one of the most contemptible wastes of blood and organs in existence.

Yet still, this idiot is active. His fundie mafia managed to get the South Wales Echo to retract an article because it implied that Jebus (if he existed) might have been gay. What part of if you don’t like it, don’t read it and fuck off don’t they get? I can’t see Green bullying the Echo over a column by the same author about Islam. Especially seeing as Green has described Allah as being the spirit of Satan – even though Allah is the same sky fairy that Green worships every single damn day. For all we know, Green may think that Muslims pray to a garden gnome. From his attitude, it is highly likely.

References and External Links

• BBC News. A Voice in the Wilderness. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4303965.stm
• Mediawatchwatch. http://www.mediawatchwatch.org.uk/2005/06/15/interview-with-stephen-green/
• Jesus and Mo. http://www.jesusandmo.net/2005/12/18/hook/